COMFORTABLY LOVED by Blaire Miller Bommer

COMFORTABLY LOVED

by Blaire Miller Bommer

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You're a nightlight -
false security that goes away as soon as the sun comes up.
A fake sense of fucking entitlement that doesn't speak directly
of my childhood but just lurks around the room as if its job is
to remind me of how big a baby I can be when I'm alone.

If it were up to me
I'd bury you under the piles of bills I can not afford to pay
and college term papers that never wrote themselves
and those hundred thousand Bed Bath & Beyond 20% off flyers.

A lover is someone I have nothing in common with
the word LOVE itself is a billboard with all our tallies marked on it
and this is not a game to me.

This heart is pretty bruised, gently used, and nothing that I thought
a heart is supposed to be.

Yeah, it hurts to get that heart handed back to you time after time.

It's a tender moment when you find yourself awake on the hardwood floors
of your own house, scared to sleep on the furniture because even the leather
smells like a series of sin soaked mistakes you'll never forgive yourself for
even when every one else already has.

It's hard enough to get through the soggy broken heart beats
If you're really listening I need you to know
that you did not do this to me.

One day these lips are going to open up again for more than just words.
The ego that's wrapped around my heart will fall like it never has before,
humbled.

When it arrives like these things tend to do sometimes
I will be
poised
scared
primed
brazen

You did not do that to me either.

A lover is someone I have nothing in common with
the word LOVE itself should be blown up
and we should all be right away rewired.

You're the blanket I've had since that beach trip in 2003
that just reminds me of all the things I forgot to do with myself since then.

You're a nightlight -
never bright enough to glow up anything important in the room
just reminding who ever is in it where the door is.

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