Male Socialization
by Buddah Moskowitz
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Don't oversleep
don't curse the alarm clock
don't wake up the others
don't go to work without shaving
don't wear that tie with those pants
don't leave without kissing her goodbye
don't drive like a maniac
don't get in an accident
don't be late to the office
don't be unproductive
don't go to non-work-related websites
don't daydream about sex
don't skip lunch
don't eat any trans fats
don't talk to any other guys at the urinal
don't be unprepared for your meeting
don't tell your boss what you really think
don't leave until after the boss does
don't forget to call and ask if she needs anything
don't bring your work home with you
don't ignore the kids
don't take it out on the kids
don't fight it if she wants to take a walk after dinner
don't hog the remote
don't go to bed without taking a shower
don't forget she needs foreplay
don't knead her breasts like dough
don't come too soon
don't come before she does
don't roll over and fall asleep as soon as you're finished
don't fall asleep if she wants to talk
don't leave the tv on all night
don't forget to say your prayers.
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